Trade Tips have often been fiercely guarded by sex workers as they can be successful mechanisms towards providing a unique and quality service. Sharing them is seen by some as akin to selling a secret recipe to a rival bakery. However, the sharing of these trade secrets is the perfect mechanism for increasing the skills base for newer workers which in turn increases the base line of skills and knowledge across the industry. This capacity to learn new tricks is not just limited to new workers and will often occur in brothels where workers naturally share a work environment, while private workers may have to dig a bit deeper. Sometimes it’s not until you share knowledge with others that you realise exactly how significant and valuable your expertise is. We are the masters of our trade and passing these skills onto others is the same as an experienced tradesperson passing on skills to an apprentice. I have had workers tell me a story of a particular situation with a client but omit the very detail of interest. “I’m not telling you, that’s my secret!” If you are so inclined to share your specialist knowledge there are always going to be eager ears awaiting your pearls of wisdom. Empowerment through knowledge and skills sharing!
Slow businessIt’s easy to freak out when business slows down and the phone appears to stop ringing. Where are the clients? You may find yourself calling your work mobile just to check that it still works! Whores are great at understanding what contributes to the ebb and flow of clients. There’s always the same excuses we roll out at the predestined times of School holidays, Christmas holidays, end of the financial year, winter, January credit card bills that have absorbed the last couple of months worth of expenses… And then there’s the unpredictability of interest rate rises that can affect clients mortgages and expenditure. But then work can just appear to dry up for no apparent reason. Even regulars stop calling leaving you wondering, “Is it me?” ........Even the most seasoned workers may find themselves renegotiating their boundaries or services to accommodate a client. Whether you have rent or other bills looming overhead, or maybe you just need some weekend fun money- remember its okay to explore options to bring in the cash. Stressing over financial strain is one thing and rigid inflexibility may not pay those bills- but at the other end of the scale- be aware of how underselling your service could potentially make you feel. The less I charge the less I’m interested in the client’s experience and more interested in getting them done and dusted…quickly! Its one thing to offer an inexpensive service that a client will see as great (or even incredible!) value but it’s quite another to feel ‘cheap’ and having your financial situation taken advantage of. At the end of the day we have to do what we can to survive and get through that period of time. This may even include widening your advertising on free internet sites, sourcing clients from phone chat lines and internet chat rooms, pay-per-view webcam wank, sending clients a courtesy SMS telling them it’d be fun to see them soon (if you have their number) or even getting some part time ‘straight’ work shudder to guarantee some income to ease that pressure. The less option you give yourself, the more narrow the opportunity for making money.
Keeping It Up“How do you keep it up?” If we all had a dollar for every time we were asked this question… Well, the client being polite, respectful and keeping their expectations realistic can most certainly help! There is an inbuilt expectation that your penis is going to respond to stimulation of any kind. Having the client staring lustfully at your cock might not work on its own, funnily enough. Even funnier is the belief we have an ‘on’ button. Well, having cash cross our palm may be part of the turn on (always get the cash first) but dropping your daks isn’t always going to result in instant ‘boing’! Touch can be an important factor and some clients may need to be guided in how to caress rather than grope. What a turn off it is to have someone jerk away madly with an iron-clad grip at your appendage with no particular rhythm, exclaiming, “C’mon get hard, I paid for this.” Yeah, buddy, that makes me feel as sexy as a potato sack. Thank heavens for stiffy pills, porno’s, cockrings and imagination to help counteract feeling shitty, tired, stressed and any other factor that may contribute to making a connection to your sexual energy difficult!
KissingTo kiss or not to kiss- That is the question! It’s all a matter of personal preference, how you feel at that time and how you feel with that client. It is probably not a great idea to agree to kiss during an inquiry to then meet with the client and withdraw that agreement. Remember that some clients are looking for a ‘boyfriend’ experience. A longing for a deep personal connection intensified by loneliness may see clients asking this question first up. Changing your mind when face-to-face with a client may contribute to an unexpected reaction so it is important to be clear and concise about what you are willing to do when dealing with the initial inquiry. However, you, the worker are in charge and if you become uncomfortable with a certain activity or request then you have every right to renegotiate or withdraw the offer. Many workers see kissing a something ‘personal’ that is reserved for their private life. And just because you kissed that client last time it doesn’t mean he’ll get it next visit.
Disabled ClientsThis is not a widely discussed issue but one that is gaining momentum. In Australia, we have Disability Awareness training programs for sex workers who work or want to work with clients with disabilities. Working with this client group can provide immense job satisfaction and the gratitude can be absolutely heart melting.
Testicular Self ExaminationThis is an essential part of men’s health maintenance. If you carry your mobile in your pocket or place it between your legs when driving or even use a laptop computer on your lap, then you are exposing a very vulnerable part of yourself to frequent doses of radiation. The consequence of this would at least be Radio/Chemo Therapy- worse is having one or both of your balls lopped off. “I’m tall, toned, big dick, no tatts, facial hair or balls…” Probably not a brilliant selling point and mightn’t make any difference to some male sex workers’ services but it’s an area of your health that should take priority. It takes less than a minute and you can do it yourself!
Phone TipsWhen the phone is the first point of contact your tone is everything, with so much more of our language make up funneled through our voice. There is nothing more off putting to a client (so they tell me) than to have the worker seem disinterested, or replying with a gruff tone and curt answers. Ideally, if we can have a ‘hospitality’ face, then we can have a ‘hospitality’ voice, too. Mind you, with many sex workers operating via a website or web-based advertising, a phone call may not even be part of the contact with a client. However we are feeling at that particular time we need to remember that some clients are looking to make a connection with a worker and for some clients it can take a bit of courage to make that call. Inexperienced or nervous clients may need some ‘coaxing’ to make them feel comfortable. Being stressed can potentially reduce our capacity to respond respectfully or thoughtfully to clients questions. What seems obvious or common knowledge amongst us workers may be completely foreign territory to an unaware client. It can be terrifying for a client to be asking something for the first time ever!
Working on the InternetAh, the private worker’s best friend! It’s a gross understatement to say that the Internet has changed how the sex industry operates. Once upon a time your options (which may have included -and still can- handing over half your earnings to someone else) were street, brothel and escort work or you could’ve been lucky enough to have a convenient arrangement with a client to see them at your home. Only twelve years ago in NSW the sex industry was still criminalised, so unless you were paying off the vice squad, working at home via newspaper advertising was at your own peril. In some other jurisdictions in Australia, advertising in the print media is regulated via some form of registration (Isn’t that what councils do with dogs?). Technically it is illegal in NSW for print media to accept advertising for sexual services-that includes establishments recruiting staff. So, private workers everywhere who remember the ‘bad’ old days rejoice with glee of the internet – such a convenient method of advertising. Of course, younger workers who have grown up in the IT era know nothing but this convenience and the days of yore must seem very antiquated, indeed. (Anyone remember when the VCR was new??) The greatest thing about the internet is the capacity to reach clients on a worldwide scale. A fantastic tool to advertise your ‘tour’ dates, making it much easier to travel and work, if at least providing clients with a discrete option to find you from the comfort of their PC- As long as the missus don’t find out…
Genital PiercingOnce uncommon and considered freaky by many, genital piercings now offer little or no surprise when they are revealed. There are the clients who will seek a sex worker with a genital piercing because that is their fetish, and of course there are clients for who a piercing – or even tattoos – are considered a bit too ‘different’. Some clients with pierced wobbly (and not so wobbly) bits may ask if you are okay about seeing them as some sex workers can baulk at the sight of a infrequently seen-to-them piercing. How thoughtful, considering staring uncomfortably or blankly at a pierced set of genitals may cause a quite panic for a client - especially if you are distracted by shiny things! However, if you are uncomfortable with seeing a client with a piercing, simply asking them to remove it will probably be met with polite obligation – especially if you suggest that you will be turned on more by its absence. Just remember that extra care must be taken with some piercings and they may require a modification of your masterful manual technique.
Scarlet Men Disclaimer, August 2007The materials archived and showcased on these pages promote important male sex work peer education materials from Australia and the world, written primarily by male sex workers. Amazing, dedicated and skilled male whores have documented thoughts, interactions and knowledge to share with you. Scarlet Alliance does not own the copyright to any of the works contained herein - copyright remains with the original authors. If you are an author wish to update, contribute, edit or remove a piece from this site, please contact Scarlet Alliance at firstname.lastname@example.org with Scarlet Men in the subject.